- 颜.赛勒斯 -

2012-01-23T01:30:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year 2012
Thank God for everything

2012-01-03T01:26:00.003+08:00

2012-01-02T01:23:00.000+08:00

N years before ...

now .. 2012..

we still look cute :)

2012-01-01T11:35:00.003+08:00

hapiNewYear 2012

Thank You for everything you guys have done for me and i appreciate so much for all
Apologize for any fault and mistaken Cyrus did for the previous year and Sorry for all
Once again, Thank for the understanding and accepted the capricious and emo Cyrus
Thank God:)

2012-01-01T01:15:00.000+08:00

hapi New Year 2012 N hapi Birthday to big-S and small-s

2011-12-30T01:18:00.007+08:00

ohYeah! It's going to over in 2more days

fail to plan then what next?

plan to fail loh:)

oMg!! Okay!!

I was supposed n' planning for my new 2012 but

Hohohoho! I just woke up from a long long nap yet I'm still feeling so tired!!!
a long long nap for my entire 2011.. hahahaha.. wake me up please!!

Okay, just pen down any new plan which has pop out from my useless mind for this moment

ohYup:

1. Get my first property in 2012

ohMydreamHouse and i can't wait to get you okay!! come to me please! right now!!

2. Quit from the hell - CRU

believe in myself, i have the courage to be the second Grace Lee:)

3. Get a 'simple' life

Yup! I guess everyone has a different definition of 'simple' and for mine - simple just nice (nonsense!!)

smile:) instead of laugh LOL

I have nothing to do actually, i am just happy and i am fucking satisfied with my life

have fun being 'simple' and happy loh @@

4. saving - more and more and non-stop saving

but i think the possibility of me spending most of the money (for nothing and emptiness) instead of saving is really high like 99.99%!! Hohohohohoho!

Thank God for everything

and LORD, i wanted to get rid of this

totally quit from my mind

Thank You LORD

I pray in name of Jesus, Amen

Good Bye to 2011

I Love You 2012

从心开始

2011-12-28T23:19:00.001+08:00

泪了,真的很累了
I'm Cyrus, I'm lost
I'm seriously confused for this moment
I hate quarrel, I feel super stress
I won't find any excuse for myself
I hope I have de courage to leave
leave Citi
but I do not know where I will be heading to for that quick escape

2011-12-24T18:42:00.003+08:00

merry X'mas

2011-12-10T06:37:00.000+08:00

10122011

2011-11-21T00:47:00.001+08:00

想念

2011-09-27T21:36:00.005+08:00

五月天突然好想你

BY2 我知道

郭静我不想忘记你

2011-09-24T23:02:00.001+08:00

他向她求婚時，只說了三個字：相信我；

她為他生下第一個女兒的時候，他對她說：辛苦了；
女兒出嫁那天，他摟著她的肩說：還有我；
他到她病危的那天，重複的對她說：我在這；
她要走的那一刻，他親吻她的額頭輕聲說：你等我。
這一生，他沒有對他說過一次“我愛你”

但愛.......從未離開過。

2011-09-15T02:48:00.002+08:00

super fuckin' thank for de slap

15th september 2011

0100 it's time to wake up

从"心"开始

2011-09-05T23:10:00.001+08:00

throw de rubbish which is not belong to my mind

stand up from where i fal

lonly de weak idiot need time

i'm cyrus n' i need more time than an idiot

time changes everythin'

but it's no true

doin' things changes things

no doin' things leaves thing exactly as they were

2011-09-05T22:59:00.001+08:00

hebe - 还是要幸福

2011-09-01T11:50:00.003+08:00

it's 1st September 2011

expired. everythin' is over

you can do nth but accept de fact

从"心"开始

2011-08-28T20:40:00.002+08:00

nothing last forever

i didnt notice de expire date for de 100plus inside my car

"Baik Sebelum 31/08/2011"

another 3 days to go

it is not expire date for me

and de expire date is longer than forever

once again

nothing last forever

2011-08-22T23:25:00.002+08:00

ease of mind

seek refuge in warmth and softness

seek happiness in lonely and stressful

i hope to be just simple and nice

2011-08-17T22:11:00.005+08:00

change is around us

some say de rate of change is increasin'

but whether that is true or not

this is definitely a fact in my life

in my real life - EVERYDAY

in order for me to cope with that change

i need to be willin' and able to change

and learnin' is a key component in developin' that ability

and de only thing i have to learn is - accept!!

ACCEPT DE CHANGING

cyrus gan will never change back into cyrus waa!!

in life

only thing is unchanged is de world is changin' every minute

continuous learnin' is an attitude

and a set of behavior that allow myself to succeed in our every changin' environment

and in de best lever i have to turn who am i today into i want to be

i had tried my best

and i m still trying

and i unable to accept de fact until today

:)hien

2011-08-15T23:22:00.001+08:00

1st i was dyin' to finish my high school n start college n then i was dyin' to finish college n start workin'

then i was dyin' to marry n have children,

n then i way dyin' for my kid to grow old enuf so i could go back to work.but then i was dyin' to retired n now i'm "dying".

suddenly i realized i forgot to live.

don let them happen to you.

appreciate your current situation n enjoy.

c'est la vie

2011-05-24T23:34:00.002+08:00

we make them cry who care for us

we cry for those who never care for us

and we care for those who will never cry for us

this is truth of life. it is strange but true

one you realize this

it is never too late to change:)

2011-05-22T11:35:00.001+08:00

never explain yourself to anyone

because de person who likes you doesnt need it

and de person who dislikes you wont believe it

2011-05-16T21:34:00.001+08:00

wen you wake up in de mornin'

we have 2 simple choices

go back to sleep n' dream

or wake up n' chase these dream

choice is yours

2011-05-15T22:34:00.002+08:00

don let someone become a priority in your life

when you are just an option in their life

relationships work best wen they are balanced:)

2011-05-14T19:45:00.001+08:00

time is like a river

you cant touch de same water twice

because de flow that has passed will never pass again

enjoy every moment of life

2011-05-05T00:11:00.003+08:00

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

And I learned to live half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

2011-04-21T23:26:00.000+08:00

‎it's your attitude. not your aptitude. that determines your altitude

2011-03-09T01:00:00.001+08:00

hapi birthDay cYrus:)

2011-01-26T02:43:00.000+08:00

...

2011-01-17T03:14:00.004+08:00

went to jean's father funeral.

so soli to heard tat jean.

hope you doin' wel jean and be tough.

and soli for helped nth.

i like wat you said -
we are all one luggage.

to be carried here.

one day will still be carried away.
why people still strugglin' each other for power.

for everythin'.

tried to ingratiate other but fightin' in de corner everyday.

busy.money.workin' all of those are not a excuse.all nonsense.

and how many hour i am wit my mom and family for a year.

thank you mom.for carried cyrus to this world.

it's not a easy job.

i hope it's not too late for me as i only started and realized tat i am actually not much time to care bout you.

i mis you mom and my family.

love you all.

life short.

do watever you wan.

be hapi and love de people around you:)

2011-01-12T00:55:00.002+08:00

after more than two decades.

i dono where i will be headin' to for tat quick escape.
seek refuge in warmth and softness

~~ease of mind~~

2011-01-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

today is not my day.not my friday.

i thought i can manage it well.
despite i'd tried my very best.

i am seriously try my best to manage not to get angry.

but i stil lose my 1st temper today.
i'm failed. i couldn't manage it.

i am failed in controlling my anger.

i felt bad.bad.super bad.

have been thinking for de entire day wat wrong to me today?

tired?stress? no excuse pls cyrus.

no next time cyrus.

cannot fly into a temper again pls

2011-01-01T18:28:00.001+08:00

hapiNewYear 2010:)

2010-12-06T01:16:00.008+08:00

citiNight@bullshit Nite

graceLee. cYrusGan

WilliamFongCyrusConstantNickDaphneNatashaChenyi

mr.Yap(yap kuan seng)

actully cyrus is a dwarf but cute boy.see de leg.raise it up =.=lll

nick.clubbin' kaki.

tai ka jet.kBox kaki.

we're come fom de same generation.same class.share a same common fate.

fom de same generation but diff dept.aim de same target-MONEY!!

2010-11-22T21:37:00.003+08:00

sick of my life.
just cannot be hapi.
can i do somethin' else to make myself hapi.

besides shoppin.outin.sleepin.kBoxin.clubbin' and get drunk.
all of these will just make myself feelin' more and more emptiness.
money can buy nth.
especially hapiness.
i can buy anythin' i want but hapi.

give and take.

or i am just tired..

2010-11-15T23:16:00.006+08:00

depressed

i am not good enough

not good enough

i am more much better than other

but i am failed for my family.everythin'

it's because i am not good enough still

i had ad tried my very best.

2010-11-02T01:15:00.001+08:00

anyone?

HK for faye's concert?

anyone?

during my bday month?

anyone?

2010-10-27T23:23:00.001+08:00

sick of my life..

i am seriously very super tired..

money can buy nth..

feel of emptiness :(

2010-10-22T01:20:00.001+08:00

station life~ Hmmm.sucks.

how suckz

working.sleeping.working to targets.

non-stop target.target to money for sure.

entertainment.smallTalks.facebook-ing.kBox-ing.

then everything round back to Targetzz.

but i'm gettin' a hang of it ad.

i stil bored at nite.

寂寞寂寞就好.

i really need a trip.

free from all problems.

okay.don act small talks.

oh and now that i am earning a better amount.

but i am still feeling bored at nite.

i want list!!

~~Branded~~.Life.~~Iphone~~.Happiness. ~~Camera~~.House.~~ZARA~~.Trip.~~Top Man~~.

my laptop is on de way to hell =.=lll

and there is an apple ~~laptop~~ in my wanted list.

feel like getting one.

i am beautiful in every single way..

2010-10-16T01:53:00.002+08:00

people lie :)

i have nothin' more to say..

wat's done is done..

i should be on my way..

let's begin a brand new chapter shall we..

cut to feel pain..feel pain to forget de other pain?

for all those lies?

i correct my words..

work to hit target.. hit target to get more money..

more money to more hapi :)

2010-10-16T00:34:00.004+08:00

喜歡聽歌　感人的歌　它讓我覺得愛是對的
睡不著　我就醒著　不再讓日子被打亂了
寂寞很吵　我很安靜　情緒很多　我很鎮定
因為投入　所以放棄　不願再被痛醒
固執算不算任性的要求　付出也可能看不到結果
終於你還是選擇了放手　用逃避　讓感情犯錯
喜歡唱歌　動人的歌　它讓我獲得一點心得

得不到　我就放掉不去碰觸到我的需要
寂寞很吵　我很安靜　情緒很多　我很鎮定
因為投入　所以放棄　不願再被痛醒

承諾算不算任性的要求　人總是不能太容易感動
當愛失去自我失去包容只想要　從混亂解脫

2010-10-14T23:05:00.002+08:00

thank tansy..

i am very sure you think i am crazy and not cyrus wen i say "thank you"..

jus de simple and nice touchin' feel wen people treat me a dinner..

dono why.. mayb i jus need someone to dinner wit me..

anyone??

mayb i am boring wit mee maggi or tabao-ing everyday..

9am-9pm keep workin'..

i hope i can hit de 100club for 2nd time..

and i gettin' more gentle and calm this few days..

i think i had been takin' too much of cough medicine this week for sleepin'..

yap.. de cough medicine contains sedative drug..

and de tranquillizin' effect of gentle and calm..

it can really easily contain my excitement..

i hardly do it without de drug..

i know it would spreadin harmfully to me..

1 more within..

i will quit fom this

2010-10-12T01:30:00.002+08:00

i am jus simple..

and i jus wan simple..

don complicated it:)

2010-10-11T23:01:00.005+08:00

have been takin' de cough medicine for turn in easily for week..

how long? how long i have to strike out of this?

yup harshly strike it off..

i have to forget everythin' tat reminds me.. everythin'.. everything.. everything!!!

too much damage were done..

time changes everything??

it's wat people say.. it's not true..

doin' things changes things..

not doin' things leaves thing exactly as they were..

wat's de meanin' of last chance?

i had used up all my last chances..

everything come hostility..

and wat does tat mean?

i breached that trust..

i have nothing more to say..

wat's done is done.. whoever's gone is never comin' back..

alrite.. back to de serious emo stuff..

someone just stabbed me in de heart..

i'm not sayin' it's not worth it..

rite now being de old man..

just wants some peace and quiet..
several goals to achieve though..

to gym! i always think exercise strengthen one's mental and physical self..

yup i really need that.. alot..

secondly hmmm.. go to a trip alone..

i admit! i'm gonna do it alone..

i believe i can and i believe i will! lastly..

(yeah i know three's not alot but start small first?)

something less physical..

GET. BACK. INTO. DE. WORKING. MOOD..

from now on, i stand alone..

2010-10-11T01:31:00.002+08:00

想念是會呼吸的痛它活在我身上所有角落
遺憾是會呼吸的痛它流在血液中來回滾動

能重來那就好了

2010-10-06T00:43:00.001+08:00

20101006.0015

disappear and disappointed T.T

2010-09-27T23:30:00.001+08:00

i deserve a chance to be happy don’t i?

i think i need to relax properly..

basically.. get my mind off work COMPLETELY when it’s leisure time (but i couldn't make it)..

workin' are pillin' up like mad..

especially month of September 2010..

i'm so wanted to be de new member for de 100-club actually..

because of money? 100-club cert? or... watever..

fuckin' stress.. and i get moody easily i realise..

but yet.. i hide my emotions so well..

colleague even said.. tat they feel like i’m a lot happier recently..

Oh please.. if anyone could see wat’s goin' on inside..

it’s one mad whirlpool of emotions..

worth it? for de 100-club..

fucked up my work and hit de 100club ..

it’s hard to trust anyone..

i can’t tell when i’ve finally moved on..

to be honest.. i fuckin' want to run away..

it’s so fuckin' hard to pretend nothing’s wron'..

nothin' goes well nowadays..

then again.. it never did..

maybe tat’s why buryin' myself in work is de best..

don’t eat much.. don’t sleep much.. don’t have time to think about anythin' else..

time to wake up my idea..

i should be on my way..

i’m lazy actually..

i’m on a highway to hell..

Loved and lost.

2010-09-16T18:22:00.002+08:00

寂寞寂寞就好

2010-09-13T01:17:00.002+08:00

i dono.. i wanna go back..

go back to my head..

go back to de time my head is fully utilize..

2010-09-01T23:56:00.001+08:00

19th August 2010 - 24th August 2010..

hOngkOng-ing :)

i'm really excited for de new experiences and time wit HongKong..

i'm ecstatic..over-enjoyed..blessed..WOOHOOOOOOooOOOoo..

although i was moody kaokao for de 1st day..

but i think it ended off great.. and of course.. things jus get better..

i figured..i should stop bein' so scared of takin' risks..

i wanna be adventurous.. try new stuffss.. take bigger steps in life.. mature..

know myself better and treat myself de way i deserve to be..

i wanna be hapi.. bcos i'm jus a smallest Mr.potato in town..

de world is bigger and bigger than everythin' around us..

okay.. wat next??

i absolutely love HK...

Okay.. too many photos to upload.. if you really want to see..

check out my facebook!

2010-08-09T02:28:00.002+08:00

when i’m all alone at home or somewhere..
and i start to think about life..
i don’t know if i’m happy or not..

i can’t tell..
wen take a step back and think about few year time b4..
de good.. de bad.. de happy.. de cryin'.. de anger..
and most of de time i'm hapi..
jus de immature feel - simple and nice..
although paid for de only salary 700bucks per month..
walked for de long distance for de fare saved..
wednesday movie day for de 2bucks movie ticket discount..

early bird kBox-ing or end month crisis..
no famous brand or even a starbucks coffee..
jus group of best friends..
but we've de happiest immature kids in town..
and it seems to be driftin' further away now..
everyone is busy for their dream and life..
and cyrus.. works for money..

it's really lesser and lesser for de good times together..
no more mamak-ing for hour and hours..
no more chit-chattin' for de entire nite and to listen to each others..
who care you're havin' de bad day or happiness..
money and workin' to fills de void..

i know.. i've been spendin' a little too much this few year..
clothes.. accessories.. shoes.. everythin' wit branded..
and some people dont seem to understand..
i need thing to occupy my mind to keep it from wanderin..

money doesnt mean everythin'..

cyrus is alone..

but somehow.. i can never escape..
haha.. i'm gettin' emotional again..
but i deserve all of this..
i caused everythin'..

we always want changes..

even if they may not be de best option..
but i guess life is lookin' up..
and yes.. it will work out right...
i deserve a chance to be happy don’t i?
think about your entire life..
you’ll realise tat you’ve been through quite a bit..
and you managed to get through all tat...
you’re strong..

you just need to remember tat too...
i just gotta get tat into my head and start livin' life de way i should..
so tat you will hang on..

and live life out loud..

p/s: i wan my thrifty life again..

(wit current income.. haha.. more and more)

2010-08-06T01:49:00.005+08:00

2010-08-04T00:13:00.001+08:00

actually i'm ~~happy~~..

even thought gotten wat i wan..

and i'll have jus gotten wat i wan fom my effort..

jus see i dare to dare not to get it..

prayin? those shits will jus didnt come true in life..

my mind is blank..

still..my stupid useless brother really disappointin' us lots..

cyrus really doesnt wan to think bout him anymore..

how dumb i can be?

he can goes die and has his shit stuff back into his ass!!

can he please stop annoyin' every1 around him..

especially my mom.. fuck off fom her life please!!

fuck off fom de world kok..

i'm deeply saddened by everythin' of him..

mum plan to tcare of my lovely niece and send her to s'pore for her kindergarten life..

i know she loves and worry bout agnes so much..

i know she wanna be with agnes all de time..

so am i.. actually i mis and worry bout you guys so much..

she ask me suddenly.. are you able to afford this?

yap.. i answered.. i think i can do it..

soli mum.. cyrus didnt manage to save up enuf for de dream house in short..

but i'll try my very best to do it..

jus asked myself fuck off everythin' besides workin' and earn more money..

i myself have enuf shit to deal with..

if only i can go back to de time in de past..

i wan de time where i can see mum's smile..
jus simple..
then i can be truly hapi..
it seems to be driftin' further away now...
i jus wan my mom be hapi all de time..

smile fom de bottom of heart..
i know.. de amount of pain she had withstand is unbelievable..
until now.. how can i make her hapi..

i know it's selfish to be a burden to her..

who else she cans talk to besides cyrus?
how much can her rely on me?

i'm pretty lucky cos i have you mum..

i've really good life bcos of you..

i totally need some rest but..

so many thoughts larger than wat my brain can handle..

thinkin' of change de work environment..

but i cant take de risk of losin' my current job..

hate it cos i'm havin' mood swints..

i know you are tired cyrus..

it's goin' to be over soon..

once again.. i pray for de motherfuckin' god again..

2010-07-30T22:41:00.000+08:00

wow~ how excited!! friday+end month..

2010-07-28T20:04:00.020+08:00

come back.. come back to my blog:)

there's really alot and..

it has been in my draft since really long time didnt get in this blog!

first thing first..

i'd missed one of my favourite movie..

"Sex and The City 2"..

weekends.. i'm almost outin' for de passed few weekend..

and yet.. i couldnt catch de movie on time T.T

kBox-ing friday nite.. which i've been goin' for for past few weeks..

movie.. clubbin'.. kBox-ing again until de next mornin'..

and thus really got no time to really to rest durin' my weekend.. pretty sucked!!

in life.. there's really nth to be afraid of..

but body doesnt lie..

i'm afraid of found tat i'm gettin' older..

only few consecutive week at de nite street and turn in late..

felt across and worn out by de whole body..

gosh!! i don have such previous state.. it's scarin'..

really cant not recognize de old..

de nite stil young.. but cyrus is not longer young..

but i stil look cute..

okay.. i dono wat i'm talkin' about..

♥ I wanna look good!

back to my work..

i always feel very annoyed n' pissed off with those brainless customer...

especially those custmer who think they're de smartest "shit" in town..

like wat's wrong wit them seriously?

this is wat de "pretty words" come out fom de customer mouth..

"FUCK U!!SUCK!!JIBYE!!U'RE DE STUPID IN TOWN!!GO TO HELL!!DON TALK TO ME"

blakblak~bLak.. keep blakbla-ing in de rest of their life...

like they're goin' to end of their pretty fuckin'Life after de talk..

godBless my dream come true:)

seriously man..

all these people who're sick in their mind should stop talkin' all these shit!

where are the humane side of them?

i nearly.. durin' de first month...

nearly break down at tat point of time cause i was both physically n' mentally not yet prepared for this n' this just come too sudden..

i don't know.. but i always feel very touched whenever those who is nice to me..

which i know many people dont!

and when i told my friends tat i felt pretty emotional n' moody on work..

they'll always scold me.. we used to it.. you're jus havin' period all de time... Zzzzzzz..

and de only advise - who care wat those stupid talkin' about..

wat you have to care is "how much you can get after tat.. don waste any single of your breath to care how many "fuck" in de end..

my life is flood of "complain"..

and i have number of complaints about my job...

and yet.. i learnt to ignore..

c'est la vie..

yah..i remember my mom and many of my friends are supportive..

they ask me not to worry so much n' go for it..

i never once give up at any point of time!

i wanted to prove myself..

also to those people who thinks tat i'm too weak for it..

thinkin' tat i'll die in there cause it'll be too tough for me...

i really like tat feelin' wen i did it..

it's not totally bout provin' to people tat i can do it..

(though i also do wanna prove)

but it's more to prove myself n' know my limits..

i get de amount i wan.. more n' more...
you know.. i also thought i cant do it b4 i went in...

but i just change my mindset wit de thinkin' tat...

if people can do it.. i'm sure i can too!

cause i'm also like them... why not!

and i wanna do it better..

i don't know wat lies ahead..

but i'm gonna prove to myself again..

i'm goin' to get my dream house within this 2 year..

this 2 years is gonna be nothin' for me n' if people can do it.. so can i!

at least i try my best..
same goes to you all too! don't give up!

♥ Money money money!

i wan shoppin'.. but stop it for 1 month and shop in HK ...

mayb to you guys it's kinda waste of money to spend like hundreds over bucks just to buy a shirt!

but well... maybe it's my interest and hobbies so i can't comment much on myself..

as i'll will answer you back tat you guys spend money buyin' other stuff..

which i think is also kinda wastin' of money!

c'est la vie.. work hard play hard..

earn hard spend hard..

Loves ❤

2010-07-27T00:35:00.004+08:00

hello..

i kno i havent been bloggin' much lately..

thus you guys had startin' abandan my blog..

anyhow.. everythin was so normal as usual..

wel.. i specially need to thanks IvanGan..

thank for retrieved my blogspot password:)

yeah! i can stil be bloggin' de same way like i always do stil!

it's tat mayb i havent been writtin' tat much only..

but tat's how i blog wat!

watever it is.

itis all password fault!:(

2010-03-26T20:35:00.006+08:00

again.. we all have choices.. n' we have got to make them..
good choice or bad choice..

i have to stand firm on de choices i've made..

cos i really really don't want to be left hangin' there..

finally i decided on my choice..

n' my HongLeong life is come to a ful stop..

end of my bDay month..

my 1st step to de branch - 8th Oct 2009..

last step to de brance - 29th March 2010..

thank for de happiness U guys have given..

de pass 6 month has been busy n' rather fulfillin' n' i've been out almost everyday..

even though it really tires me out.. but i feel really happy...

fom de bottom of my heart..

thank U guys ~

Sean.. vivian.. william.. Henry.. peiLing.. Azham..

Kak Nor.. Kak lily.. Kak Shu.. Kak Yati.. Kak linda.. Harman.. Kak Zana..

i'm feelin' very stress n' sad rite now..
cYrus is you against all..

i know.. i don't always end up with de happiness in life..

but i'll be fine in no time... in short..

i'm goin' to miss U guys..

if i don't make de choice.. de choice makes me..

n' all these time i've wasted.. i might got nth in return..

i feel myself growin'..

learnin' from my mistakes n' experience with U guys..

now all i want for myself is to be hapi n' money..

no matter who i'm with or wat i'm doin'..

i just wanna be hapi n' money..

i'm glad i'm movin' on well...

i am horribly sad..

we always want changes..

even if they may not be de best option..

end of HongLeong..

start fom Citibank..

2010-02-26T02:52:00.002+08:00

again.. it not worth it..

but since it's not worth it..

why continue to be the doormat again n' again rite?

okay.. DE END..

p/s - welcome back kok..

2010-02-22T20:55:00.003+08:00

it has been another long time since i posted my proper entry on this site..
hapi new year by de way..
January 2010 went by in a flash.. anyway i found some time to pen down sumthin' again..
blogs are misleadin'..
they reflect wat i feel at de moment.. not wat i feel everyday..
it's just a naggin' thought at de back of my mind..
i just wanna get it out of my chest n' channel out how i feel at tat point..

headache..
sometimes.. it not worth it..
but since it's not worth it.. why continue to be de doormat again n' again?
confusin' of whether i'm tired or sad.. confusin' at this moment..
livin' in a repeatin' life.. c'est la vie??
i'm jus sick of de life of mine..

i realized how fast things have changed within de past month..
it's been a long time..
i wouldn't have picked my life where i left off..
became stronger n' havin' de life i am havin' now..
delay for 1 more sem.. i have no choice..
i realize how i become more like a fadin' dream as each day passes n' it's as if i myself never really existed in my own life..

how well you've been doin'.. how fast your life has moved on n' how busy you are...
can i say.. tat i've been thinkin' of you a little too much recently..
i'm just tired and sick..
i've been workin' too hard n' i'm too exposed to de things about you..
tat's why..
you are tat faraway from me now..
can i jus ask - 你最近还好吗?
cyrus wishes you doin' wel n' hapi everyday.. i pray for this..

listenin' to de "wai mian de shi jie" of Karen Mok.. n'
it make me gettin' emo.. emo n' emo..
who care?

2010-02-20T16:07:00.001+08:00

莫文蔚- 外面的世界..

2010-01-16T00:11:00.001+08:00

my new phone - Nokia E72..

2010-01-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

2010-01-03T03:05:00.000+08:00

bye december.. de festives n' holiday season has gone..

feel de joy n' love start to warm up as de new year is just around de corner..

happy new year 2010 :)

i guess al of us got de new year resolution..

so am i..

we were lettin' go of sumthin' special in de past..

sumthin' we'll never have again..

i know.. i guess i really really know de sumthin' went away..

why do we never know wat we've got til it's gone..

how could i carry on..

for my 1st new year resolution..

appreciate everythin' i have..

love myself.. love everythin' of cyrus..
life's turnin' for de better now.. god bless..

here's de second part! :D

hope tat you had a wonderful 2009..

bcos it passed very fast for me!

it's 2010!

with tat.. do have a fabulous 2010!

thanks for bein' so faithful n' readin' my blog..

despite its borin' posts.. i really appreciate it! :D
lotsa love!..

loves ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-01-01T02:21:00.000+08:00

heya dears..

here are de best pictures of 2009 tat i captured.. or i really liked..

lets countdown over today..

i enjoyed de past few days..

christmas rocked 2009year...

so.. life isnt tat bad after all haha..

let's hope i can remember all de fun i had for the past five days..

hapiNewYear 2010..

2009-12-19T05:24:00.003+08:00

de only thin' you have to promised..

be hapi n' smile everyday:)

nite..

2009-12-19T05:03:00.003+08:00

2009-12-16T19:53:00.003+08:00

hAppY birThDaY eDwin Lee..

cYrusX'Mascollection

2009-12-15T23:40:00.006+08:00

tell me how can i not feel better?

feelin' a little moody today bcos of some events tat's happenin' around me recently..

it sets me thinkin' about my life as a whole..

thinkin' of step out fom this stupid place - KL .. wre can i go then?

i'm jus tired n' sick of de life.. mayb..

i've been workin' too0o hard n' i'm not exposed to de people around me besides workin'..

tat's why.. i'm too independent? or anti-social..

December..de wonderful publicHoliday.. but for me it's nth..

cos i'm such idiot who will only enjoy workin'.. NO LIFE!!dammit!!

talkin' bout alana last nite..

n' it made me thought about my past again...

only when de memories are stirred.. then will i remember..

i realize how me myself become more like a fadin' dream as each day passes as if i never really existed in my life..

yap.. i un'.. it's hurt...broken up wit sum1 you love..

but wat can i do is jus reserve everythin' by myself..

lana...you made a rite choice in leavin' him bcos if it wasn't for tat choice you made..

in life.. we don't always end up with de one we love..

nth last forever.. c'est la via..

you would have picked your life where you left off...

became stronger n' havin' de life you're havin' now..

i know.. it's hard bcos de momories will pop into your mind every nite b4 you sleep..

it'd be de last thought on your mind b4 you turn in..

no choice.. bcos we are human bein'..

we only live once.. but if we do it rite.. then once is enuf.. more than enuf..

it just sets me thinkin' fom a cyrus's point of view..

how much trust we can afford to put in a relationship n' how much we need to hold back at times..

havin' absolute trust in a person.. will it backfire?

for my super negative mind set.. nth last forever..

goin' back to JB this weekend?

singapore for my x'mas or new year eve?

how to achieve my target?

wat is my consolution?

how was my car loan?

i'm feeling very stress right now..

cYrusX'Mascollection

2009-12-12T23:38:00.002+08:00

hAppY birThDaY to YongGan..

cYrusX'Mascollection

2009-12-06T23:02:00.007+08:00

NandO.kLcc..

3day outin'.. even though it really tires me out..

but i felt happy...

cYrusX'Mascollection

2009-12-05T22:25:00.016+08:00

kuala Selangor.. seaFood-ing..

fireFly Park..

fEelin'Drinkin'..

cYrusX'Mascollection

2009-12-04T13:50:00.001+08:00

my first annualLeave on friday.. mid valley..

hAppY birThDaY to MengLee... Full House KLCC..

just for FUN

cYrusX'Mascollection

2009-12-01T22:21:00.004+08:00

welcome back.. my lovely dEcEmbEr..

my x'Mas.. muack~

cYrusX'Mascollection

2009-11-16T20:21:00.005+08:00

i'd never mention anythin' bout my job.. am i?

seriously.. it's fuckin' tired after lock off everyday..

yap!! fom de 1st day i started workin'..

ohH.. i'm currently workin' for HongLeongBank..

as a Personal Financial Consultant..

wow.. thank god.. de title sound good..

but job.. like hell.. i've to handle whole stupid Products..

Mortgage.. personalLoan.. investmentLink.. insurance.. creditCard.. watever jibye loan..

work like a heavy manual labor..

de whole month has been busy.. even though it really tires me out..

but i feel happy.. tat's bcos wen i'm busy..

there won't be a chance for me to think about anythin' n' i can drift off to sleep easily bcos of how exhausted i am..

it is perfect but i know it's stil learnin' n' i have to keep improvin'..

next time will be better n' better..

got to wake up as early as 6.45 am n' tat's way earlier than any normal schoolin' timings i've ever had..

hopefully.. de stupid job sets a direction for me in my life bcos i don't really want to feel so lost on wat to do with my future anymore..

bankin'Life.. i want a better life.. no longer a normal life..

i just want everythin' to fall into place..

as i take my first step into adulthood..

if there is ever a day i lose myself in de process because of how harsh reality is..

i just want this post to remind me of who i really am n' what makes up me as a person..

hopefully.. changes i wan to make n' de improvements i wan out of my life will happen n' wat i've decided to do fom now on will make it happen..

i'll be fine in no time.

2009-11-11T22:10:00.004+08:00

i'm unhappy..
i dono why i am but there is just this clear sense of unhappiness lingerin' inside of me..
is it really so hard to be happy?

i must be mature in thinkin' n' actions..

i will do so.. i most certainly will but at de sake of my own happiness i rather not..

tired.. i'm growin' weary of de stupid war..

fuckU!!

2009-10-17T19:56:00.000+08:00

2009-10-02T00:37:00.002+08:00

2009-09-23T04:59:00.001+08:00

life toOo short..

do watever you like..

2009-09-21T05:10:00.000+08:00

2009-09-21T03:00:00.006+08:00

okay... 3rd time my schoolMate askin' me about wat subjuct i'm talkin'... assignment..blakblakblak..
thinkin' about de past.. just wan to laugh it all off..
i was keep complain - school kinda sucked today.. ohwell.. school suck everyday..
but i miss my uni now.. quite..

ohwell.. i'm a little self-conscious these days...
don't really know wat happened to me but i sure did lost all of my ego..
after my tons of interview n' waitin'..
i startin' to accept de fact tat i'm not hotstuffs at all n' tat i have many many ugly ugly flaws..
i havent found a good reason to persuade myself to accept any stupid job i don like..
sometimes i really think life is a game of trickery.. dammit man!!
but.. i got no choice..
so tel me again.. i'm rite in my decision..

okay.. if i don't love myself.. who would love me?
intended to find a place to relax n' chill out..
just something random..
i wan alcohol..

2009-09-20T03:32:00.003+08:00

ohH.. i'm here to wish every useless babi-s..
"selamat hari raya.. idiotzZz.. "
includin' me myself??
cal for McDelivery for my dinner..
okay.. 1set of FiletOFish n' Porridge for my dinner..
guess wat.. de receipt named me "Mr.Fairuz"..
myGod!! should i celebratin' de stupid raya together wit you guys idiot?
is it so difficult to pronoun my name CYRUS??
okay.. make it easier..
"cyber cafe got virus"... cyrus.. get it?
wat a funny MalayName Fairus.. lll
okay.. jus for my Raya then..

2nd month..
floodin' my emotions onto myself was just a way of good expression..
stil waitin' for job offer..
i know i'd been slackin' at home for month..
tired wit seekin'..
goodLuck fairus... lol..
it's cyrus okay..
godBless:)

2009-09-18T03:52:00.001+08:00

hApiBirThDaY..

2009-09-16T01:41:00.000+08:00

i'm tired..

2009-09-01T02:13:00.007+08:00

september2009re.Start..
station life~ Hmmm.. sucks loh.. my stupid August!!fuck!!
but i'm not goin' to make my life suck ANYMORE!!
i'm gettin' a hang of it..
new life.. new cyrus..

things to accomplish now tat i have de mental strength n' de time..
1.love myself a tad more..
2.get a new job.. work harder.. need de extra money n' save save save..
3.get myself a car as soon as i can..
4.move further.. it really sucks to be stuck in de same spot when everyone is movin' on..

we all have choices.. we have got to make them..
good choice or bad choice..
stand firm on de choices i've made bcos i don't want to be left hangin' there..
havin' to deal with my frailty by myself ..
if i don't make de choice now..
de choice makes me..
de old stupid stupid dumb blonde me is gone!
i'm gonna live my life rite this time round..
let's just laugh at my history n' move on!

yap..cyrus.. you're NOT useless!!

2009-08-30T17:48:00.003+08:00

life~ Hmmm... sucks..
johor-ing again..
might havin' my nationalDay countdown inside de train..
how stupid??

my bro is an idiot.. total idiot!!
fuckOff!!eatShit!!go to Hxxx!!!

2009-08-26T18:24:00.007+08:00

2009-08-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

this weekend was supposed to havin' our trip to p.pinang..
once again.. we postpone de trip bcos of CYRUS!!!
wen you check wit Eng.dictionary..
postpone mean "to delay until a FUTURE time"...
but accordin' to OUR dectionary..
FUTURE mean infinity (big-S,2009)*.. lol..
so??
can we wanna shorten de "unbounded time" takes to make de REprocessin'..
b4 end of 2009?
since.. jean..yong n' jazzshit couldnt make it toooo... lol..
we'd planned to trip together wat..lol..
anyway it's my fault again..
ribuan minta maaf.. soli x 1000-infinity.. lll

catch "UP" today at pavillion..
pls!! set a rule lah!!
cinema is not allow for under age n' idiot!!
fuckin' noisy those stupid kindergarten idiot+sss..
lessEducated ah.. your parents didnt teach you tat cant makin' noise wen watchin' movie?
yap.. i'm talkin' bout those kindergarten idiot's parents.. fuckU!!

anyway.. i was not "cyrus" today..
you're tryin' ? as i do..
fuckNite!!

2009-08-21T23:21:00.004+08:00

I'M SICK!
down wit flu.. cough.. slightFever..

today was supposed to be a busy day for me...
i'm supposed to wake up at 9 am for an interview at KL centre..
after tat.. i'm supposed to meet up wit de cust for some stuff but..

my days as a student has finally came to a closure..
surely now.. i'm lookin' for a suitable fulTime job for myself..
say goodbye to studentLife!
seriously.. i'm livin' in de moment already..
like its already happenin'.. i'll enjoy my workin' time..
ever have one of those dreams tat i want to fulfil but de rite opportunity have yet to arrive..
i know wat i wan..i'm sure..
i've been feelin' very much alone last fewWeeks..
dealin' with my emotions by myself even though i have my fres by my side..
insecurities.. disappointments n' fears

yesterday was time well spent. :)
thank everyone..

2009-08-03T02:55:00.000+08:00

just feel like there was a need to update my blog b4 goin' back to johor..
so here i am..
i mis my mum.. my brother n' my lovely niece..
thank for beside cyrus wen i'm feelin' lonely n' insecure..
once again.. cyrus got tons of shitzzZz to due wit..
pick myself up.. anyone??
cyrus cant fall down..
i tol myself i must keep up..
any fuckin' reason.. i have to be tough..
i have to move further..
this is wat can i do..
started fom scratch again but good things really never seems to go my way lah..
worrin' bout my family..
put asides de anxiety fom my study n' workin' n' movin' parts..
this is another mood swing?
i feel tat god is pickin' on me.. is this some test?
god.. then i accept al de shits you'd given me..
thank you so much.. fucker..
i'll keep movin' after my tearzz..
i'm unhappy actually..
i don't know why i'm but there is just this clear sense of unhappiness lingerin inside..
is it really so hard to be happy?
kept tellin' myself..
you must be mature in your thinkin' n' actions..
i will do so..
otherwise cyrus will be labelled as bein' childish or immature..

nth last forever..
remember de thin' we wanted?
it doesn't matter anymore bcos wat i want now is to be away fom other..
will it be de same tomorrow?
will it be de same a year fom now?
do you still wan to be away fom me?
wen i start to look back..
wen i miss you guys n' realise de things i could have done differently..
would i start to regret?
cyrus doesnt know.. even now..
jus feelin' tat i'm a trouble maker for you guys..
mayb.. de longer we're apart de more distance we're placin' between each other..
maybe time isn't really much of a solution afterall..
as wat House said - doin' thins change things..
not doin' things leaves things exactly as they were..
but maybe its already too late..
but lovin' would be de same bcos we care each others..
thank you..

2009-07-31T17:55:00.002+08:00

end of JULY..
still.. still n' stillzzZz..
cyrus is considerin' whether he wanna leave de 5years memories or not..
first n' foremost..
thank for everythin' you-s have given..
it's more much priceless treasure than everythin'..
its amazin'.. de way you guys make me feel complete..
i have so many personal things to say but yet i can't seem to pen it down in here..

i always confuse.. yap..i am..
i woke up this mornin'.. n' i think to myself..
"damn i'm still here".. (de situation but no de environment..)
have been slackin' for weeks.. stupid useless cyrus!!FUCK-U!!!
i prayed to tat fucker.. yap i meant god...
to stop my heart.. just stop it.. but he didnt..
i went on thinkin' how to break myself fom de rest of de slackin'world..
i'm sure there are times where my life sucks ..unlucky stuff..

good things never seems to go my way recently..
personal+family..
cousin is gettin' better now..
but my 2nd uncle is stil waitin' for de LungCancer operation..
worrin' bout my uncle.. how if it gettin' worsens?
gone back to johor for de last couple weeks..
but i can do nth bout tat..

OhYa!!wat a happiest day for me..
my brother is back..
nearly cry wen he cal cyrus jus now..
cyrus misSss you so much my lovely kok..
gettin' back to johor soon..
cyrus will give you a SuperVery bigbig HUG..
no woli.. we are here for you.. love ya:)

once again..
no matter how much you pray to the god..star..chicken..your dog.. de shit n' etc..
it just couldn't happen..
just didnt come true.. lol..
consider i'm a atheist...
but i'm stil goin' to continue doin' it..
couse i belif de fucker..
then i accept all de shits he'd given me.. thank you so much..

everythin' else is secondary..
i just need some peace..
i just wan my family happy everyday:)

2009-07-20T23:55:00.001+08:00

we're jus people.. stil we move forward...
so we force ourselves to keep tryin'. to keep learnin'..
don make de same mistake again..
right now..
i jus want to be anywhere else except my current situation..
you all must be wonderin' wtf...
i just answered my own question..
needless to un' wat i'm sayin'..

2009-07-16T01:02:00.006+08:00

was readin HOUSE few other days b4..
it was talking about Philosophy insides de HOUSE soap operes..
i dont know why..
dont ask me...
n' it mentioned how HOUSE cans communicate with other n' his mind..
i really admire him.. i really do..

patient : "time changes everythin'.."
House : "it is wat people say.. it is not true.. doin' thins change things.. not doin' things leaves things exactly as they were.."

House Philosophy..
series editor William Irwin..
edited by Henry Jacoby..
(get yourself de book if you like de "HOUSE" soap operes..)

2009-07-03T23:46:00.011+08:00

hapiBirthDaY to ian.. cheeHua..

aRa Damansara FullHouse..

to be honest.. de food.. "so so ONLY"..

worse than soso mayb.. lll

jus for fun~

2009-07-02T21:48:00.015+08:00

ohh welcome julyDays..
first thin' first..
i just feel like bloggin' this out...
sigh of relief out loud..
PLS U!! any fucker of U..
pls lah!! don simply add me THEN ASK..
"who are you?" .. "mind to intro?" .. "am i know you?"
hey people!! you add me then throw me this kind of motherfuckin' question!!??
oMg!!fucker.. jus fuckOff if you dono cyrus..
cyrus doesnt know you but i'd FUCK your mother before..
so i think i'm your father.. cal me "papa" pls!!
FUCK OFF OKAY!! i got no time to entertaint U guys!!
complete idiot!!

actually i'm not done sayin' everythin' lah..
guess wat.. you all must be wonderin' wtf.. hehe..
needless to say.. after so long annoyin' fom this Q..
i known wat de stupid question people ask me MORE...
"you are hairdresser ?"
"you like girl or guy.. gay??"
i say "NO".. but you guys doubt my word..
watDeFuck!! i almost wanna turn of de table lah..
if you guys persist n' think i'm gay.. why you guys stil ask??
pukima lah.. actually i'm "HUA MU LAN" okay??
yes!! i jus answer your question..
dammit!! i'm gay n' 4inLove to your father leh..
your father's havin' sex wit me so many time b4..

OhNoYourFather.. de smallest cock in town.. yummy!!

superSuper mini cock!! hahahahaha..
okay?? am i answer wat you wan?
fuckOFF PLS!! totally idiot !!
i can only speak human language but not idiot language okay!!

i'm on de verge of gettin' crazy this few days..
fuckin' borin' ahh!!
i hate exam time!!
OHhH!! one more thin'..
pls DON ask me again how long i stil have to finish my study..
how embarrassed i feel wen you guys askin' me this question..
LONG WAY TO GO OKAY!!

you guys planned to pay my schoolFee?
after my degree then further master then further Ph.D then suicide...
am i answer you Question?

2009-06-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

2009-06-22T20:39:00.003+08:00

i'm sick!!
down wit de badCold.. headache.. grave fever..

2009-06-18T19:23:00.008+08:00

miss you guys everyday..
mum.. kok n' my niece.. cyrus mis you guys..
i love you guys..
soli for my useless..
homePhobia?
soli for my lame excuse..
cyrus jus refuse to think..
soli for did nth for you guys..

god.. if you could hear me..
i jus wan myfamily doin' well..

2009-06-17T17:42:00.008+08:00

maybe typin' it out in here will make me feel a little better..
i don't have a choice because i'm only left with nobody..
i can't tell anyone except for pen it down so please hear me out..
no1 is there to hear me out rite now n' i can't tell any1 bcos every1 is too busy..
mayb..
i can't even tell those person who care n' love me bcos i don't know how to speak n' to voice it out anymore..
it's not tat i don't want to tell but i don't know how to..
i believe nobody..

i feel horrible n' i feel so guilty..
i don't want to but sometimes i cannot help myself..
i always treat people i like n' people who are important to me like this..
is there somethin' wron' with me?
i hate myself for destroyin' all those things tat i once have everytime..
i didn't know how much i cherished them n' when it's lost..
my family.. my best fres.. my demon..
i start to panic n' blame myself for wat i have done n' for causin' so much unhappiness to them..
yet.. no matter how much i hate myself for doin' so..
i still do it cos i cannot help it...
i just cannot hide wat i feel n' i just need to express it out..
this is not a part of cyrus anymore...
this is wat i'm made up of..
this is cyrus..
i'm feelin' very stress n' guilty rite now..
cyrus is you against all..
you're useless..
de most useless shit in town!!

i don't know why i'm but there is just this clear sense of unhappiness lingerin' inside of me..
my fres kept tellin' me..
you're no longer young n' you must be mature in your thinkin' n' actions..
i will do so.. plannin'..
i most certainly will but at de sake of my own happiness i rather not..
then i'm labelled as bein' childish or immature...
impulsive.. BRAINLESS!! fucker!!

i'm thinkin' whether i stil have to further my study within this coupleWeeks..
i know de situation i'm in actually..
i know there is a solution..
i just refuse to think straight..
"fail to plan..then plan to fail.."
scold me.. but no1 dare to do it to me??
who care? i need sum1 slap me PLS!!

tell me how can i not feel better?
de bible teaches tat God loves all men n' wan them to know him..
yap.. cyrus so wan to know him..
this sound stupid for cyrus..
but how do i receive salvation fom de Lord?
pray sincerely?
thank de motherfuckin' God..

can you hear my pray?

2009-06-05T18:20:00.005+08:00

onward n' upward..
today.. i'm seriously got no idea how to move further..
rite or left?
i'm seriously dono..
i felt helpless at de moment..
i felt lonely at de moment..

wat would de moment be like?
how would i react?
will i be all nervous?
imagine how would it be like?
i wont quit.. for everythin'..
my study my job..
i only get one chance..
even if i got no chance..
no matter how hard i have to make up for it..
i jus feel like there was a need to move further..
even i'm stil lost..
even i cant find any directions at de moment..
this feelin' suck n' horrible..
jus felt nth but emptiness..

i'll deal wit it..
i'm ready to face this world again..
wit de fake smile..more cruel.. selfish.. realistic..
i'm all proven rite..
within such a short period of time..
live wit it..

2009-05-20T02:34:00.006+08:00

one word to describe myDay today - FUCK!!

ohNo.. it's FAILED..

i'm so excited!

failed one subject - PSY 201..

TAT felt good..

no more virgin.. fuckin'HIGH!!

fuck me pls.. fuck me again.. fail me again?

who care?

on the bright side.. i'd know better bout "Advvanced Research Methodology"..

okay!! then pay de 1500 for cyrus..

oh fine!! i pay de 1500 n' get me de "D" okay??

i hate it.. fuckin'MAFAN!!!!!

why cant U just stop forcin' cute young boys likes cyrus to commit suicide?

wastin' my time!! sigh!!

lets jus indulge in watever i have at this moment..
FUCKFUCKFUCK!!