when i’m all alone at home or somewhere..
and i start to think about life..
i don’t know if i’m happy or not..

i can’t tell..
wen take a step back and think about few year time b4..
de good.. de bad.. de happy.. de cryin'.. de anger..
and most of de time i'm hapi..
jus de immature feel - simple and nice..
although paid for de only salary 700bucks per month..
walked for de long distance for de fare saved..
wednesday movie day for de 2bucks movie ticket discount..

early bird kBox-ing or end month crisis..
no famous brand or even a starbucks coffee..
jus group of best friends..
but we've de happiest immature kids in town..
and it seems to be driftin' further away now..
everyone is busy for their dream and life..
and cyrus.. works for money..

it's really lesser and lesser for de good times together..
no more mamak-ing for hour and hours..
no more chit-chattin' for de entire nite and to listen to each others..
who care you're havin' de bad day or happiness..
money and workin' to fills de void..

i know.. i've been spendin' a little too much this few year..
clothes.. accessories.. shoes.. everythin' wit branded..
and some people dont seem to understand..
i need thing to occupy my mind to keep it from wanderin..

money doesnt mean everythin'..

cyrus is alone..

but somehow.. i can never escape..
haha.. i'm gettin' emotional again..
but i deserve all of this..
i caused everythin'..

we always want changes..

even if they may not be de best option..
but i guess life is lookin' up..
and yes.. it will work out right...
i deserve a chance to be happy don’t i?
think about your entire life..
you’ll realise tat you’ve been through quite a bit..
and you managed to get through all tat...
you’re strong..

you just need to remember tat too...
i just gotta get tat into my head and start livin' life de way i should..
so tat you will hang on..

and live life out loud..

p/s: i wan my thrifty life again..

(wit current income.. haha.. more and more)

actually i'm happy..

even thought gotten wat i wan..

and i'll have jus gotten wat i wan fom my effort..

jus see i dare to dare not to get it..

prayin? those shits will jus didnt come true in life..

my mind is blank..

still..my stupid useless brother really disappointin' us lots..

cyrus really doesnt wan to think bout him anymore..

how dumb i can be?

he can goes die and has his shit stuff back into his ass!!

can he please stop annoyin' every1 around him..

especially my mom.. fuck off fom her life please!!

fuck off fom de world kok..

i'm deeply saddened by everythin' of him..

mum plan to tcare of my lovely niece and send her to s'pore for her kindergarten life..

i know she loves and worry bout agnes so much..

i know she wanna be with agnes all de time..

so am i.. actually i mis and worry bout you guys so much..

she ask me suddenly.. are you able to afford this?

yap.. i answered.. i think i can do it..

soli mum.. cyrus didnt manage to save up enuf for de dream house in short..

but i'll try my very best to do it..

jus asked myself fuck off everythin' besides workin' and earn more money..

i myself have enuf shit to deal with..

if only i can go back to de time in de past..

i wan de time where i can see mum's smile..
jus simple..
then i can be truly hapi..
it seems to be driftin' further away now...
i jus wan my mom be hapi all de time..

smile fom de bottom of heart..
i know.. de amount of pain she had withstand is unbelievable..
until now.. how can i make her hapi..

i know it's selfish to be a burden to her..

who else she cans talk to besides cyrus?
how much can her rely on me?

i'm pretty lucky cos i have you mum..

i've really good life bcos of you..

i totally need some rest but..

so many thoughts larger than wat my brain can handle..

thinkin' of change de work environment..

but i cant take de risk of losin' my current job..

hate it cos i'm havin' mood swints..

i know you are tired cyrus..

it's goin' to be over soon..

once again.. i pray for de motherfuckin' god again..