for de past few days.. i was really busy because there was so many things to attend n' so many stuff to go...
a strange week i would say.. de weirdess stuff happened...
weirdess?? NO!! it's TOUGH!!
I FELT UPSET =[
don ask me why cos i wish to know why too..
whats right? whats wrong?
i couldn't be bothered about it anymore...
it's all wat my choice.. my decision..
DAMN my ears are hurtin' to wat they said..
but like it or not.. i still gotta continue ..
cos i have to learn fom them.. their experience..
tons of experience fom de group of sluttiest..
i was on de verge of tearin' myself apart wen i got scold..
do you know that?
de feeling whereby your heart just starts to sink when you come to know about somethin'...
somthin' tat you don't wish to hear n' know..
but i just know what it means n' somehow it affected my mood..
be glad tat i have settled my emotions before i got out fom them..
i don't want to let all this emotions take over me..
i dont wanna give up cause of those bimbo.. it doesnt worth..
keep askin' myself..
am i really tryin' my best to improve?
i don't seem to be workin' towards improvin' myself even though i keep sayin' i will..
i know wat's wron' with myself n' i do try to improve but i'll still end up givin' up halfway..why?
wat's really wron' with me..
where's de self discipline tat i need?
where's tat motivation in my life?
why am i always givin' up halfway when i'm startin' to make some improvements?
remember de HELPLESSNESS theory??
you can trust nobody but yourself..
de moment you give up.. who else you can trust?
from de past until now... it has never changed...tat's the fact..
i don know why i love thinkin' so much..
it has always been like this.. isn't it?
i was careless to let myself carried away by my emotions..
i'm not goin' to be the fool for de second time..
don't hate de game..
hate de players of de game..
after de tearin'..
pls move further..
impossible is nth.. it's jus nothin'..
i'm a lil disappointed but it'll keep me goin' n' makin' improvements..
at least ...it has grown a lil more..
hang on there..
if not.. it might just be tat i was thinkin' too much..
but so what? can you ever understand why?
somehow i'm glad...somehow i'm afraid... somehow i'm scared...
somehow i think i'm copin' it well..
tell me how should i feel n' what should i do?
cYrus cafe*
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