How to Cope With a Heartbreak
“It is only with true love and compassion that we can begin to mend what is broken in the world. It is these two blessed things that can begin to heal all broken hearts.”― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free. Nursing a broken heart is a harrowing endeavor. What you have to remember is that eventually you really will feel like yourself again. Healing a heart takes time, but this article will give you tips on how to minimize the pain and speed up your recovery.
1
Understand that it is okay to feel sad. In fact, it’s okay to feel a whole range of emotions--from sadness, to anger. The key is to not let those feelings dictate your whole life. Do not try to numb yourself to the pain or swear off relationships forever--these activities will only hurt you in the long run. Instead, when you’re feel sad, let yourself be sad and then move on. Give yourself time to feel the hurt. Your heartbreak is not going to go away in a day, or even a week, but know that one day you will wake up and feel happy.[1]
- The same goes for crying--if you feel like crying, let it out. However, sometimes crying can be an inconvenience (like when you’re in a meeting, in class, at the library…) Learn how to control your tears in public here.
2
Release your negative thoughts. After a break up, you may feel like you can only view the world in a negative way or that everyone is out to hurt you. Well, they are not. In fact, you should focus on the people in your life that love you, as well as the things that you love. An excellent way to expel negative energy is to meditate. Another way to expel negative thoughts is to start doing something else when you begin to feel yourself getting dragged into a negative headspace. Go for a walk, call a friend, do something to distract yourself.
3
Talk to someone. While you may feel like you are now completely alone in the world, you are not. It will help you feel better if you talk to someone about what you are going through. Talk to a parent, a best friend, a therapist, or anyone who you feel like you can trust. Putting your thoughts and feelings out there--rather than bottling them up--will make you feel better. Plus, the person you talk to may have some excellent advice, as most people experience heart break at least once in their lives.
4
Think positively about yourself. Sometimes, break ups can make us question our worth. Well know that you are worth a lot. Think about your strengths and feel proud of them. Do things that make you feel good about yourself--take time to finish that painting you started or go on a run. Acknowledging that something bad happened to you, and realizing that you are strong enough to deal with it is a key part of getting over your heartbreak.[2]
5
Avoid activities that are going to make you feel bad. Creating a list may help you to keep track of what makes you feel bad. For instance, stalking your ex’s Facebook probably makes you feel bad. Add is to the ‘bad list’ and don’t do it. It’s also a good idea to get rid of things that remind you or your ex. While you don’t necessarily have to throw the stuff out (that cook book you two would try recipes from might come in handy in the future) you should move it from your direct line of sight. If you choose to give your ex’s stuff back, put it in a box and leave it at your ex’s front door. This spares you the awkward moment of seeing him or her again.- Other activities that may make you feel bad include looking at pictures of you and your ex, fixating on memories, listening to ‘your’ song, talking to your ex, visiting places that were special to you and your ex, etc.
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Remember to eat. While you might feel like your stomach is twisted into such a tight knot that you feel like a pretzel, you really do need to eat to keep your strength up. Eat what you can manage and try treating yourself to a treat you really like (ice cream or chocolate are great treats.)- However, if wine is your treat of choice, don’t get ridiculously drunk in an attempt to make yourself feel better. While it may feel good to be a little wild at first, heavy drinking often leads to feeling out of control and many, many tears (plus a miserable hangover the next day.)
7
Surround yourself with people you love. Spend time with your family, your favorite pet, or your best friends. While it is natural to want to be alone for days on end after a break up, you should spend time with people who love you. Not only will they make you feel loved, they will also distract you from the pain you’re feeling.
8
Don't get frustrated with yourself. While on your way to recovery, you may come up against days that are harder than others. Allow yourself to be a wreck on these days. Letting your emotions out will help you to move forward. Don't beat yourself up over feeling sad when you thought you were recovering. Our hearts work in strange ways. Some days you may just feel sad, and that's okay.
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Don’t play the ‘Ex Games.’ You two broke up, end of story. While your ex may have sugar coated it with soft words like the horrible cliche, “it's not you, its me” line, you will have to wade through that to get to the heart of the matter--your lover is ending your relationship. Being let down easy may take the sting out of the words but the words are still saying the same thing--that it’s over. So don’t give in to the desire to play games with your ex such as trying to make him jealous or wanting to have lots of ‘hearts-to-hearts’ with her. Instead, put your energy towards moving forward and creating a better life for yourself.P/S - http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-a-Heartbreak
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